Hithisistanishajonesineedyoutocallmeasapmynumberis5553211234thankyouhaveaniceday.

Voice mails.  Yes, I'm back on this subject.  Since I average about 125 calls a day, voice mail is a huge part of my daily life. 

Voice mail can be a useful tool.  Sometimes I really don't need to actually speak to someone if they leave me a substantive message.  Unfortunately, when it comes to my clients, I really don't get that too much.

I usually end up with something like this:

Hithisischanellemitchellrobinsonandineedhelpwithmyrentwillyoupleasecallme
to2224865387assoonaspossiblebecauseIhavefivekidsandicantbeevictedthanks.

Uh...how's that again?

Yeah. People seem to think that they have to get their entire message out as fast as humanly possible, or without taking a single breath.  They sound like auctioneers.  It's gotten to the point where I've had to leave instructions for clients to SPEAK   S   L   O   W   L   Y  and clearly so that I can return their call.  Doesn't work.

On the other side of the fast talkers, there are the story tellers.

Hiiii.....This is James Johnson. Uh, I got your name from my caseworker? Mrs. Smith? Her office is on Walnut? Well, she told me to call you because you might be able to help me?  Well, what happened was I was working and my car broke down and I ended up missing work and they fired me FOR NO REASON.  Anyways my caseworker was ssupposed to pay my rent but now they're not and---BEEP (end of recording time)

*click* Hiiii....This is James Johnson. I think we got disconnected when I was trying to leave you a message.  I'm calling because Mrs. Smith, my caseworker, told me to call you because you would be able to pay my rent for me.  I was working at the mall and just because my car broke down I got fired for no reason and I can't get unemployment and I need you to pay my rent right--BEEP (end of recording time)

This is how I end up with 73 voice mails and after I've listened to all of them, I end up with about 40 actual messages to write down.

Today I had to talk with a customer who was really frustrated about not being able to reach me. I understand her frustration because when I'm on a call, my line rings busy to the caller. It doesn't go to voice mail.  I'm the only person who works in this department and I'd never get anything done if all calls when to voice mail.  Anyway, she I and I were speaking and I reminded her that I was going to call her back tomorrow and I told her, "Please make every effort to answer your phone when I call. When you don't answer, we end up going back and forth with phone calls and messages."  Obviously she wasn't happy about my comments and she said, "Well YOU never answer your phone either!" to which I replied, "Well, I'm not the one who is getting evicted. ANSWER YOUR PHONE."

Sometimes you've just gotta really lay it down on the line for people and tell 'em how it is.

-Dedicated Public Servant